Monday, June 29, 2009

On Sex

June 29,2009

    It seems to me that we are through with sex before sex is through with us. We are only too glad to be rid of it, to push it out of our lives. But sex is so much more than intercourse. It remains an important hue on the creative palette without which the proper colors cannot be mixed nor can the proper rainbow appear. Without its participation life is always a little grey.

About Feelings

June 29,2009

A speaker at a session of group therapy confesses candidly: (I paraphrase)

"How can I describe how I feel?

"I feel no desire, no motivation.

"I feel futility: what difference does it make whether I wash my face or take a shower or go to the super market or the laundry? What difference does it make if I wear the same pair of socks day after day?

"I am indifferent to everyday expectations. I know that having no exercise and eating high cholesterol fast food every day is damaging to my health but I just don't care. I just don't have the motivation to do anything about it. I feel like someone who is depressed, because I believe that's what depression is: losing touch with your emotional life........... except:

"People who are depressed sit around all day looking out the window thinking and doing nothing. They remain catatonic. They are out of touch with action. I am not out of touch with action. I get up in the morning, go to the restaurant, flirt with the waitresses, listen to and tell dirty jokes, make clever comments, can I say that I'm out of touch with my emotions.

"I live because I forcibly push my life along ahead of me. I force myself to do things which I would just as soon let lie. I force myself to act. But certain emotions are missing which make these actions pleasurable and significant, some attitude, some thought process. I feel as though I'm playing my life on a piano which has a key that sounds no note."